The Politics of Birthday Parties

I don't know why, but apparently a lot of my kids' friends were born during the summer or early fall. I kid you not, between M and K one or both of them will have attended 6 birthday parties in 4 weeks.

We try to let our kids go to every party they are invited to, if it is at all possible. Perhaps that isn't the best idea in the long run, but I think going to a friend's birthday party when they may have picked M or K as one of only a limited number of guests teaches my kids how to be a good friend and shows them that they should stand by their friends and help their friends whenever possible. Maybe it seems strange to think of attending a birthday party as "helping" a friend, but what would a party be without friends? What if you had a party and no one came?

I do try to buy presents during the year when I see things on sale, but it doesn't always work out that way. If I can, I take M or K with me to the store so they can pick the present for their friends. They almost always want to buy their friend something that costs much more than I am willing to spend so it's hard to take them to do the shopping. When I don't feel like going through that hassle I just buy the present when I am shopping without them and hope that they approve.

There is a mental check list that I go through to determine how much money I will spend on a birthday gift. My criteria may change from one shopping trip to the next, but I always have reasons justifying each present. Though I do think, in most cases, the kids don't really care what presents they get from their friends. They just want to celebrate and play together. Isn't that what birthday parties should really be about anyway?

Do you let your kids go to every party they're invited to? How do you determine how much money is spent on the gift?

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I have a review up over at the Zoo Review. These helped answer my question of what kinds of healthy snacks I could send with the big kids to school!

Simply Joy Sunday- Birthday Party Extravaganza Edition

Yesterday was the big birthday party for Miss M and the K Man. It went well, which is a joy in itself. When it came time for cake and ice cream the kids actually stood in a single file line and got their goodies. Wish we'd taken a photo of that.

Just a note: you don't need as much "sand" as you might think. I have a butt load left.

The bear above was wearing sunscreen and using a sun umbrella. Not all the bears were so wise.

This was the activity as the kids were arriving for the party. It also worked as their party favor.

This is a small sampling of the kids at the party. Yes, there were more than this.

Here we are opening gifts...another thank you to my SIL for helping write down Miss M's gifts while I did K Man's.

Another party in the books!

I wonder if they will still allow a combined party again next year? It's a lot of work, but we get the partying over in one day...and we only need one batch of cakes/cupcakes. I think they like having the 20-plus kids to play with, even if it is only for a couple of hours.

What are your simple joys this week?

Feeling Joy!

Mrs. Dragon's Wares
Athena's Armory

Party day

We're celebrating today. Miss M's 7th birthday (the 22nd) and the K Man's 5th birthday (the 29th). I think it is by design that I birthed these two children in July, so that when they are driving me completely insane with the fighting and the tattling and the whiiiiiining I am smacked in the face with celebrating these gifts I have been given.

Today will be chaotic and tiring and fun and over before I know it. Tonight, my two big kids will have 4836 new things that we currently have no room for anywhere in our home. They will be full of sugar and exhausted and sassing and deliriously happy.

I will think the party went okay, but be slightly bummed that something didn't go as planned (something no one else noticed or cared about). I will make mental notes for next year, if the kids consent to another shared party.

I will sit in my chair at the end of the day and marvel that my two July babies are another year older and wonder where the time went.

Simply Joy Sunday #18 The First Birthday Cake Edition

Let's just say the baby enjoyed playing with her smash cake...

(And note that is her foot on the tray in the last photo. Wish I was that small and flexible. Hope frosting is a good moisturizer!)

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Anyone still playing along?

Still playing!

My Boy and Me

Happy Birthday to Ms. D!

It is bittersweet when your last baby suddenly is not so much a baby but on the cusp of toddlerhood. Even if said baby has been on the cusp of toddlerhood for months and teasing all of us with a few steps here and a few steps there it is hard on a mommy to see that little peanut of a girl standing up in the middle of the room holding two plastic lids and shrieking her indignation at something that you have no idea what but know that she feels strongly about it.

But here she is, my tiniest one-year-old...my last one-year-old. Her party is tomorrow so today will be mostly a normal day for her. A normal day that is an extraordinary day. Ms. D is having a birthday. The first of many, many, many birthdays I hope to celebrate with her. The first of many, many, many more that I hope her siblings will celebrate with her.

This year I have learned about this little spirited child, my third and last baby who is tiny in package but large in life. She fills my heart and makes me smile. She wants for me nearly constantly, which I love most of the time. Any time someone needs you that much it can be tiresome, but the tiresome moments have been fleeting and few.

Tonight I will write Ms. D a birthday letter, as I have for her siblings each birthday they have passed. It will be another love letter, much like those written for her siblings. It will be between her and I, remaining sealed until some point in the future that I have not yet decided. If at that point she chooses to share our love story with others, that will be her choice. It is my hope that she will find some comfort, some understanding of her mother, some realization of how miraculous and wonderful she is as she reads the words her mother wrote long ago.

It's not much, but it is the best thing I could think of to give my children on their birthdays.

This first year with Ms. D has been trying and wonderful and tiring and the best year ever. Our family feels complete and I feel lucky to have these two beautiful and smart (make no mistake, these girls are S-M-A-R-T) girls and this handsome and inquisitive and yes, intelligent son.

How lucky are we to have each other?

Ms. D's tiny frame makes it easy to carry her around with me as she likes. It is easy for me to forget how old she really is though, until she suddenly chastises me in not-quite-words-but-you-know-what-the-H-she-means. There is a lot of personality packed into that small body.

This second year of her life? I can tell it's going to be goooooood.

Love you Baby D! Happy Birthday!

First Birthday Party Invitation: Revealed!

Wordless Wednesday and Even more Wordless Wednesday

Party Madness Begins

With Ms. D's first birthday rapidly approaching, so begins the birthday party season and general utter madness that overcomes me when I think about planning parties. I have issues people.

Although I am starting the season with a relatively low-key celebration for Ms. D since it is her first birthday and I don't want to scare the poor girl too early.

I'm about half-way finished with making her invitations (which will be mailed to just family) and I think they're pretty cute. I have to decide on what we'll be eating. I'm leaning toward making pizza since my tiny little bundle of energy can put away an adult-sized piece of pizza in one sitting. Although she is also quite fond of macaroni and cheese. I'm not sure where she puts all this food since she is so little. I'm thinking she might have a hollow leg.

I'm looking for suggestions for what to give her for her birthday though. Honestly, by the time the third child comes along we already own almost everything. I was thinking about getting one of those ride on cars that have the pole thing so the parent can push the child. Anyone have an opinion on those?

I can't believe my baby is going to be one year old in just a little over a month.

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Aweigh post below! Only 2 weeks left!

Time Keeps Marching On

I'm not sure how this little one:* Turned into a big 7-year-old so quickly. My Mom and Dad's first grandchild.

Happy Birthday (yesterday) buddy!

*The baby, not me. But I am about 3 months pregnant with Miss M in that photo.

Misty Watercolor Memories

About a year following high school graduation I met up with some people that I hadn’t seen in about 4 years. I’d gone to junior high with them, but they went to a different high school than I did and our paths just hadn’t crossed during high school. We reconnected at a party where there may or may not have been alcohol. No really, I don’t remember.

It was fun to reconnect with these former good friends and we made plans to get together again the following week. We decided to take a road trip to a nearby town that had a bar that was well known for letting underage kids drink alcohol. I’d like to say that this was my first time drinking alcohol. I’d like to say that so I just did.

The boys in the group of friends bought pitcher after pitcher of beer and made sure that the girls’ cups were never empty. We partied and danced and had a fabulous, if raucous time.

When it was time to head home I stumbled into the back seat next to Marty. I had always found Marty to be a pleasant guy, but in junior high he was slightly pudgy and I was too immature or superficial to get past that fact. The years had been kind to him and he was looking good. He’d been flirting with me all night and he settled in next to me for the long drive home.

He laid his head on my lap and I stroked his hair while we listened to the radio and chatted with the other couple in the car. It was fun to get to know these people again, and it was looking like I might be spending more time with Marty in the future.

Then, without warning, I threw up.

All over Marty, who still had his head resting, unsuspectingly, in my lap.

If that’s not a mood killer I don’t know what is.

I’m sure it will come as quite a shock to note that we did not get together again.

I can’t imagine why.

They Think We're Awesome

Babies, once they are past the newborn lump-of-mush stage, are fantastically easy creatures to please. Well, mine were/are anyway. They don’t ask for much (and not just because they can’t talk). They cry. Check and change diaper. Still crying? Feed. Still crying? Give her a few whaps on the back until you elicit a man-sized belch from a 12-pound body. Smiles all around.

I love that something as simple as bicycling my baby’s legs for her can merit a laugh. A kiss on the bottom of sweet baby feet encourages a giggle. A goofy face earns an easy smile. Never in my life again will I be as entertaining and hilarious as I am to my infant daughter.

But the aspect of having a baby that I love and will miss the most as D grows is by far the adoring looks that I get. When she looks at me with those clear, innocent blue eyes I feel like I really am pretty great. She doesn’t yet know that mommies sometimes fail, that they make mistakes. All she knows is that I’m there for her whenever she needs me.

Those adoring looks can really keep me going.

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Kristen and Rebecca are nearing the end of their pregnancies so we’re throwing a virtual baby shower…and we get a chance to win stuff! Good luck ladies! It's all worth it, but you knew that already.

The only reason I was able to write something a little lighter in tone on this subject is because my third (and last) baby is only 4 months old (almost). Ask me to write reminisce about babies this time next year and I’ll probably curl up in a corner and suck my thumb.

New Year's Eve Party

Like last year, we had our early New Year's countdown with the kids. We donned our sparkling glittery party hats and necklaces, we grabbed our horns and silly string, we toasted with our non-alcoholic brew.



There was even a New Year's kiss or two.

Here's to a fabulous 2008.

The secret revealed

I've gone back and forth about this. Writing about this, that is. On the one hand I shouldn't write about it yet; it's too soon. On the other hand I want to write about it, because there are a million things that I'm thinking about and I need to write about these thoughts. I want people to tell me that I'm normal. I want people to tell me that everything will be fine.



Of course no one can give me that guarantee, but just the words of reassurance might help even a little.



Because it's taken 2 years to get here. And I'm afraid that it's all a dream.

So there are 2 of the 3 tests that I have taken. I took another one today because I haven't really felt crappy yet and that made me start to worry more. So I took another one (a cheap Dollar Tree one) and it had 2 very dark lines.

So that made me feel a little better. I never thought I'd look forward to feeling like crap, but there you have it.

To celebrate, sometime soon, I will host a "party" here at my blog, complete with giveaways...so be sure to check back...

It's a Family Reunion...

Today was a family reunion for my Dad's family. He is the oldest of seven children that my grandmother had. My Dad's biological father was killed in WWII, then my grandmother remarried and had 6 more kids.

Having seven children results in having several grandchildren. Here I am with some of my cousins. (Three were not at the reunion.)

Kind of scary that I'm one of the short ones since I've always been considered "tall."

Thirteen grandchildren who get married and have families of their own result in a large reunion. Today, we had 49 people and there were some people who did not come.

Families that are this large tend to have favorite, and not-so-favorite people in the family. I see some cousins regularly, and others next-to-never. I get along fairly well with all of my cousins. It's the Aunts and Uncles that are somewhat hard to take sometimes. That being said, everyone was fairly well-behaved today. The siblings shared stories of growing up on the farm. Not many sugary-sweet memories, but that's life I guess. We all still loved my grandparents, for all their quirky, stern ways.

My cousin Ryan, (he's the tall one in the red shirt next to me up there in the photo) who is 4 months older than me was there with his wife and their kids. He and I have always gotten along well. We don't see one another very often, but he always gives me a big hug when he sees me and before he leaves. I saw him at a bar when we were in our younger (ahem) days. He was there with a girl, but he wanted to dance so he kept getting me out on the dance floor. I made sure the girl knew I was his cousin, but she still got mad and left. Ryan and I found it funny. Obviously, she was not the love of his life! Speaking of his wife, she and I gave birth to our boys 2 days apart. July 29 (K) and July 31. Sarah says she will always know when at least one of Ryan's cousins kids were born because of that.

Anywho. Reunions. Bah. It's sort of nice to see people when nobody has died though. Pretty much all the cousins that are going to get married already are, so we won't be getting together for that reason. For some of my relatives, this was the first time they'd ever met K man. Of course, they think both my kids are adorable and more than one person commented about how much M looks like me. (Or like I did as a kid, more like.)

Who knows when we'll get together again.

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Tonight M was telling me that her and K were going to have a baby when they grew up. I explained that we don't marry our brothers (at least not in Minnesota).

Well, Daddy isn't my brother.

Oh yeah! Who is your brother again?

Well, Uncle Jason is my brother.

Oh yeah, he married Kristi. I like Kristi. It's a good thing he found her.

Party Over...oops Out of time!

I'm officially done hosting children's birthday parties until next July.

Whew!

I think the party went well, but since I didn't sit down until about 3 o'clock besides to help M open presents (i.e. read cards and make sure we know who gave what) I really don't know what went on for most of the party. Such is life when you're hosting a party. Can't talk to anyone and can't eat. I ate one tiny sandwich and two bites of veggie salad. But I didn't really feel hungry. I guess I was fueled by hostess duty.

I'm told the cheesy spinach dip was wonderful, and apparently everything else was also okay because it is all GONE. (I was also told that the table set-up was cuter in person...which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.)

After we ate lunch the kids got their suits on and played. Here is a small portion of the motley crew we hosted:

We let them play for a while then corralled them for cake and ice cream.

My sister-in-law saw the bounty of cake on the counter and asked me if I'd been busy by any chance.

Honestly, a lot of beer and telling the kids if they don't play nice there will be NO party! Clearly, I have issues. But aren't they cute?

The kids were given a ton of wonderful presents that they were enjoying until 8:30 tonight (waaaay past their bedtime). They really love all the presents they received, to the point that they didn't know what to try out first, second, and tenth.

We may need an addition on the house. (ha ha....Ha?)

Besides the birthday festivities, it was great to see my fab friend Rachel and her kids (including my Godson, Nikolas). She is Cletus to my Roscoe. (Bonus points if you know where the names come from.)

Craig's best buddy, Dana, also came to the party. Dana was Craig's Best Man in our wedding, and really is one of the best men I know. He came because M really wanted him to come. What M wants, M gets. Well, sometimes.

K is probably dreaming train dreams tonight. He received some new Thomas the Train things that he loves, and also received some GeoTrax which he has been coveting at his friends Alex and Owen's house for at least a year. He also received two different motorized vehicles, one small, that has a retractable top that really fascinated him, the other a big Escalade that has buttons on top to command it to go where you want it to. "Right turn" and the blinkers turn on as the car turns right. Very fancy. I think some of the adults were pretending indifference, then, when K wasn't paying attention, they'd play with it a bit.

M was given a new Polly Pocket playset that she thinks is the greatest thing ever since it's a swimming pool with a diving board (that's my "fish" kid here). Plus her Amma and Boppa gave her (among other things) a bubble dancer thing that she can launch into the air that she tells Craig she wants every time she sees it on T.V. My Aunt Kay gave M some play dishes and food that M immediately used in the pool to have a pool tea party. And Kay gave her a little porcelain doll wearing a purple dress that M wouldn't put down for quite a while after she opened it. M also really loves her little Peter Pan. It's a stuffed dog in a purse, a la Paris Hilton with Tinkerbell, but M's dog was a boy (how that was determined is beyond me...and isn't Paris's Tinkerbell a boy too?) so my cousin Chelsea suggested Peter Pan as a name and it has stuck.

I mention only a few things, but honestly, the kids really loved everything they were given. Thank goodness they are pretty gracious about receiving gifts as well. It's not an act, they both are so excited when they are given gifts...no matter what it is.

The party est...

FINI.

Nearly GO TIME.

T-minus 15 hours and 15 minutes until the big bash.
Most things are ready to go.
I've frosted two cakes and too many cupcakes. I've made a whole bunch of sandwiches. I've made a fruit salad. Tomorrow, I will wake and make a vegetable salad. And a cheesy spinach dip.
The table is set to hold the many goodies. I've decorated it minimally, with a few shells, rocks, a pair of sunglasses, a beach ball and a turtle.
I've done what I can. Let tomorrow come.

Unfortunately, most of K's friends that we've invited are not coming for one reason or another so M will be a bit heavy on the friend side compared to K. I'm fairly certain he won't know, or care, but I feel a bit sad for him anyway, because I'm his mom and I know.

Pretty much all of the friends M invited are coming.

The biggest party day of our year is here...almost.

Breathe...breathe....

Preparations

It's July, which means it's the month of my children's birthdays. So, the madness begins of me trying to throw the perfect birthday party. I'm not sure where this sickness came from, but I have it bad. I need things to be "just so" for the party to feel like it's a success. Mind you, the kids could not care less about any of it.

The invites have been made and sent out. I made one, and photocopied it. I just don't have the time or the money to make each one like the original.

So we're having a "beach" party. I'm making sandwiches and salads for lunch like last year.

We've I've invited about 35 adults and 26 kids. We must remember that this is a party for TWO children of different ages who have their own sets of friends (although some overlap). [Insert additional rationalization here.]



I've finished the loot/favor boxes and think they are pretty darn cute. I've bought some additional party supplies (i.e. plates, forks, cups, canned stuff, sodas, misc. other crap that you can buy in advance.)

I hope that it's good weather, since there is no way our house will hold that many people.

Other preparations today:
M picked out her lunch box for Kindergarten (which starts in 19 days). Sniff sniff!